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Saturday, 26 December 2015

New Hindi Jokes Hindi Jokes Dirty SMS Funny Photos Pics Images

New Hindi Jokes Biography

source link (google.com.pk)
Monthly Package
Principal: Agar koi Larka Larkiyon k Hostel ki Taraf gaya to
Pehli dafa 100 Rupy Jurmana ho ga,
Dusri dafa 200 Rupy,
Aur Teesri Dafa 500 Rupy Jurmana ho ga..

Pappu: Sir, Monthly Package kiya ho ga?...;-p

Hahahaha

Teacher: Insan Sab se Ziyada Pareshan kab hota hai??

Student: Jab Wo Apni GirlFriend ko Msgs ker raha ho aur

Battery Khatam ho Jaye...:-)

Teacher: Us ny Khudkushi ker li, Usy Khudkushi kerni pari.
Farq Kiya Hai, Batao??

?

Student: Pehly Wala Berozgaar Tha,

Aur

Dusra

Shadi Shuda Tha....:-p:-)

Ek Qismat hi na Likhi gai Hum se,,

Ungliyan Thak gaen, Board pe Likhty Likhty..:-(

.

Dedicated To All Teachers..!

Teacher: Cricket per Ek Mazmun Likh ker do.

Student ny Ek Line Likh ker Paper de diya.

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"Barish ki Waja Se Match Draw"...:-p

Teacher :

"Agar Tum Urr nahi sakty to Doro,
Agar tum Dorr nahi sakty to Chalo,
Agar tum Chal nahi sakty to Rengo,
Per Aagy Barhty Raho..."

Pappu :

Wo to Theek hai,
Per Mujhy Ye to Bataen k,

,

Jana Kahan Hai?...:-p:)

This Is Fact..

"Papers Achay hon ya Buray,

Papers Khatam Hony ki To Alag hi Khushi Hoti Hai"...:-)

Teacher : Me Bus pe Charhun, Ya Bus Mujh pe, Dono me kiya Farq hai??

?

Pathan : Koi Farq Nahi,
Dono Baar Ticket Aap ki hi Katy gi.

Teacher : Lakh Di Lanat...:-)

Mathematics Teacher : What is 'Line'?

?

?

?

?

?

A Genius Answered :

A Line is a Dot, going for a Walk...;-p :-)

Samandar Me Aam Ka Darakht
Teacher : Samandar me Aam ka Darakht ho to Tum Kese Aam Toro gy??

Student : Fish Ban Ker..

Teacher : Insan ko Fish Tumhara Baap Banaye ga??

Student : To Samandar me Darakht Teri Maa Lagaye gi??

(,")___'=,--'
<)(
_//_
Student Se Panga...:-p

Teacher ny Larki se Poocha ; Tum Bari ho ker kiya kerna chahti ho??

Larki : Me Bari ho ker Maa banna chahti hun.

Teacher yehi Sawal paas bethy Larky se kerti hai..?

Larka : Me Maa banny me Iski Madad kerna Chahta hun...;-0 :-D

Tense
English Teacher : Batao ye konsa Tense hai?

"Me Naach raha hun, Tum naach rahy ho, Wo naach rahy hen, Hum sab naach rahy hen"..

Student : Sir ye

.

"Mujra Continuous Tense" hai....:-)

Teacher : Konsa Parinda sab se Tez Urta hai??

Student : Hathi.

Teacher : Nalaik, Tera Baap kiya kerta hai? Kal Usay School me le ker ana.

Student : Sir Wo Taliban Commander hai.

.

Teacher Derty huwe : Shabash Beta, Hathi hi sab se Tez Urta hai,

Kal Hamari Deewar per bhi 3 bethy huwe thy..:-)

New Hindi Jokes Hindi Jokes Dirty SMS Funny Photos Pics Images

Best Hindi Jokes Hindi Jokes Dirty SMS Funny Photos Pics Images

Best Hindi Jokes Biography

source link (google.com.pk)
Sardar picnic par gaye whan ja kar yaad aaya ke pepsi to ghar bhul gaye.
Decide kia ke sab se chhota sardar ja kar Pepsi le aaye,
Sardar: Main is shart par jata hu ke tum mere ane tak smose nahi khaoge.
Dono ne kaha thik hai.
1 din guzar gaya sardar nahi aaya.
2 din guzar gaye.
Dono ne socha ke ab samose kha lene chahiye.
Jaise hi smosa uthaya chota sardar ped ke peechhe se nikal k bola. “AISE KAROGE TO MAIN NAHI JAAUNGA”

Pani Pila Do …
Biwi :- Kya! ,Pyaas Lagi Hai ??
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Husband (Gussey se):
“Nahi”Gala Check Karna Hai
Kahin se”LEAK”to Nahi Hai

Teacher: Beta batao Parle G kepacket pe jo Green dot banahai uska matlab kya hai?
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Baccha-‘mam iska matlab Parle G online baithe hain..

Teacher: ‘3 idiots’ film dehknay ke baad aap ko kya lesson mila? Pap
pu: miss yehi ki..Enginering padh kar bhi medical ki ladki fasai ja sak
ti hai 😀 . .
Miss: shut up & get out.
Babloo: miss mein bataon..?
Miss: very good, batao..
Babloo: miss college ke 1st day Underwear zaroor pehna chahiye 😀 . .
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Miss: u also get out.
Shamu: miss mein bataon..?
Miss: i think u are a brilliant student.. tum sahi batao gay.. .
Shamu :miss doctor ke elawa Engineer bhi delivery kar sakta hai. :- D:-
D Miss: u also get out. . GUDU: Miss mein bataon. Miss: HAAN BATAO… . GUDU: FRENCH KISS MEIN NAAK BEECH MEIN NAHI AATI. 😉 Students Rock!

Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.

Saheb: Kal aana.

Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.

Santa-Banta Style of Cheating 😉
..
Santa-Banta cheating krne hi wale the k Teachr agya or pucha:
Tum se peche wale larke ne abi kya pucha?
Santa:Sir is ne pucha Japan ka capital kya h..
Teachr:
to tum ne bta dya?
Banta:Nai Sir.. Mene isko danta tha k abi to tu ne muje Toka hai mgr ab na “TOKYO”:D
Geo CheaterZ!:-P

(kavi ka Beta School Mein =P)

Teacher : What Is N0un??

Student : Arz Karta Hoon…
…
kutta Bhi Hota Hai Apni Gali Mein King…
Wah Wah…

Kutta Bhi Hota Hai Apni Gali Mein King…

Noun Is A Name Of Any Person Place Or Thing!! =p

Santa ne exam sheet par SUSU karke teacher ke hath me thama di.
..
Teacher-GADHE ye kya kia.!!!
..
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Santa.-Sir, apne hi kaha tha pahle jo aa rha he wahi krdo…

Santa jab court se case jeet k aaya to usne wakeel ko bas 1o rupee diye…..
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.wakeel (Lawyer) gussa ho ke bola-“YE MERE CHAPRASI K LIYE HE KI MERE NAUKAR K LIYE….?????”
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…..Santa bola-“YE TUM TEENO KE LIYE HAI…

Ek sharabi ne bahut zyada sharab pee le. Jab woh ghar aaya to uss ne jeb se chabi nikali aur tala ko kholney laga.

Haath kaapne ke wajha se chabi kabhi idhar hat jati kabhi udhar hat jati, ek admi pass se guzra toh sharabi ne usey bataya ki tala nahi khul rahi hai.

drunk.jpg

Uss shaks ne sharabi ke pass ja kar kaha, “lao chabi tala main khol deta hoon”

Aur phir sharabee ne kaha, “Tala toh main hi kholonga bas tum makan ko pakar ke rakhna”

We are sure that you have enjoyed these funny jokes and laughed a lot. We will be back with another top 10 Hindi Jokes that will make you laugh harder.

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Thursday, 24 December 2015

Hindi Jokes SMS 140 Character Hindi Jokes Dirty SMS Funny Photos Pics Images

Hindi Jokes SmS 140 Character Biography

source link (google.com.pk)
Shadi 1 Aisa Din Hai
Jb,
LARKA STAGE, Pr Apni Bv K 7 Betha hota hai
Dosri KHOBSORAT LARKION Ko Dekhta Hai
Or Sochta Hai
Ye Sb aaj Se Pehly KAHA THI YAR

Lrka apni Girl Friend se:
Meri Bachi
Meri shonu
Meri Gurya
Mujh Se Shadi Kro Gi?
Bolo Baby
Girl:
Mujhe Perpose Kr raha hai Ya Godh le raha hai...

Raju- loffer or offer me kya anter hai ?
Shyam- agar lakda i love u bole to loffer or
Lakdi i love u bole to offer

A Man Writing In His Diary:
“I Am An Ideal Man.
I Don”t Smoke,
Drink Or Go To Night Clubs.
I Hv Always Been Loyal To My Wife
And Don”t Flirt Wid Strange Women.
I Sleep At Eight O”clock N Wake Up Early.
I Exercise Daily N Work Regular Hours
But All This Will Change As Soon As
I Get Out Of PRISON

Larki: Main Kal Tum Se Milne Nahi Aa Sakti.
Larka: Chalo Mai Tumhara Gift Kisi Or
Ko De Deta Hun
Larki: Mera Matlab Tha Kal Nahi Aa Sakti
Abi Kahan Ho Tum?

Boyfriend: Apne gharwalo ko chor diya tere liye,
Sab se rishta tod dya tere lye
Tune aj tak kiya kya h mere lye
Girlfriend: MUNNI BADNAAM HUI DARLING TERE LIYE.

Jab reshma ki jawani ayi tab hum bachhe the
Ab shila ki jawani ayi to hum Bache wale hai
Uff ye Ladkiya sahi waqt pe jawan Kyu nahi hoti

Boy 2 god- Hazaro ki kismat tere hath h,
Agr pass karde to kya bat h.
God-Galfrnds thodi kam patata to kya bat thi,
Kitabe to sari tere pass thi.

Malum Hai aap Bahut Busy HO
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isiLiye kuchh Nahi Likha Wrna aapKo Padhna Padta.

Dentist to GOLU-Apka daant nikalna padega
GOLU-paise lagenge?
Dentist 200
GOLU- ye lo 50 rupye thoda sa DHEELA kr do
nikaal me khud lunga

aab tum raat sachche dil se sone ki koshish karo to..
Tab Wifi/3G ki tez speed tumhe jagane ki saajish karti hai

Boy-Papa..papa lagta hai Varsa aane wali hai
Papa-tu study kar.. nalayak, sara din bas ladkiyo ki baate karta rahta hai

Son- Papa me life me aage badhne ke liye kaya karu? Papa- Patthar le aur sabse phele ye mobile phor.....new jokes in hindi

:: New jokes in Hindi ::
1 admi ne 100 times khoon daan kark record bnaya
Blood bank walo ne uski wife ko prize diya
ye kehte hue ki
Apne Nahi PiyaTabi to Hmne Liya

Bahot sweet hai wo jinhe hum chahte hai,
Hr pal Khuda se usiko mangte he
Dil tarasta he use pane ko
Kya Apka dil nai krta
“Dairy Milk” Khaane ka

Wish u a very happy married life…
aise kya ghoor rhe ho..
ph. mera, pese mere, sms mera,
to mrji b meri, jo chahe beju, tum shadi k bad pd lena..

Aaj Boss se jaab Chhuti Maangi
Taab ja ke pata chala meri kitne "Value" hai compnay me
Aankho Me aasu Aa Gaye

Girlfriend says to boyfriend: I’m PREGNANT…!!
boyfriend says: Are you sure its mine?
boyfriend starts crying & says:
“Yaar sab aise bolenge to kaise chalega…!!

Meri Aankhe Rakh Lo
Mujhe Kuch Khwab Dedo
Jisme Teri Jhalak Ho
Aesi Sharab Dedo
Chalo Choro Sari Bate,
Aisa Kro
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2 Roti Or Thodi Dal Dedo.

Boy: Aapki sandle bahut acchi hai !
Girl: Haan utaaroon kya?
Boy:Chal pagli isse acchi to teri jeans hai

Abe O pagal, 1 Zabardast Sher Sun
Sher Bi Tu, Cheeta Bi Tu
Kya Frmaya?
Sher Bi Tu, Cheeta Bi Tu
Or
Bandron Ki Race Me “Jeeta” Bi Tu

Face fair karne k 3 tarike
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Mujhe pta tha tu zaroor padhega kali surat wale…
Fair & lovely laga leee

I Love
I Love u
I Love u
*
*
*I Love u
*
*
I love u So much
*
*
Bus Yehi kehna chahti thi

heer ranjha se. magar bechari ko ENGLISH nahi aati thi*

Hindi Jokes SMS 140 Character Hindi Jokes Dirty SMS Funny Photos Pics Images

Shayari Hindi Jokes Hindi Jokes Dirty SMS Funny Photos Pics Images

Shayari Hindi Jokes Biography

source link (google.com.pk)
Tumse milke jaane pyaar kya hota hai,
zindagi jeene ka ehsaas kya hota hai,
par jab tum meri zindagi se chale gaye to jaane,
ki kisi ko khone ka ehsaas kya hota hai…

Man me apki har yaad rahegi,
basti chhoti hai magar abaad rahegi,
chahe hum bhula de zamane ko,
par apki ye pyari si baat hamesha yaad rahegi…

Hasi Phoolon ko aati hai,
Jab aap muskuratey ho…!!
Humari duniya badal jati hai,
Jab aap muskuratey ho…!!
Aapki muskurahat ke aage bhalaa,
kya chand ki rounak…..!!
Huzur khud chand bhi sharmaataa hai,
Jab aap muskuratey ho…!!

Aap ke ek muskurahat se
Khil tha hai mera maan
baat ye aap bhi jaante hai
aur hum bhi, ke aap ka saath naho
to hum is duniya mein rehne ke kwahish nahi rakte …

Kuch kadmo ki hi doorie par woh mere saamne hai
Chupke se dekh aankhien band kar leta hoon
Kya waqt ki majboori hai use choo nahi sakta
Zindagi saamne hai mere saansein le nahi sakta…

Mere dil ki kitab ko padhna kabhi,
Sapno me aake mujh se milna kabhi
Maine duniya sazai hai tere liye,
Meri nazro ki ummed ban’na kabhi
Bahut dur hai sitaro se roshan jahan,
Jra humkadam banke mere sath chalna kabhi
Bahut najuk seene mai DIL hai mera,
Tum andaj mohabbat banke dharkna kabhi…

Mohabbat ki shamma jalake to dekho,
Zara dil ki duniya saja kar to dekho,
Tumhe ho na jaaye mohabbat to kehna,
Zara humse nazaren milake to dekho.

Sitaaron jaisi aankhain–yeh chaand sa chehra
Tasneem ka silsila to asmaan se milta hai
Tasneem ka wajood is jahaan me main dhoondhnay waalon
Uski maujudgi ka ehsaas to meri har shayari me milta hai..!

Sajde dil ke tarane bahut hai
Zindigi jeene ke bahane bahut hai
Aap sada muskurate rehna
Aapki muskurahat ke deewane bahut hai …

Jab humne unse pucha sapna kya hota hai
To unhone kaha band aankho mein jo apna hota hai
khuli aankhon mein wahi sapna hota hai…..

khoobsoorat ho tum kisi phool ki tarah,
aankhein hain tumhari kisi hirni ki tarah,
chahek hai tum mein kisi chiriya ki,
mehek hai tum mein kisi gulaab ki,
dua karte hain hum rab se sada,
yun hi barkarar rahe hamesha tumhari har ada…

Meri Zindagi Ki Kitaab Tu
Mere Har Sawaal Ka Jawab Tu

Main Tujhay Perhon Ga Tamaam Umer
Meri Hayaat Ka Nisab Tu

Meri Her Sheh Per Haq Tera
Meray Liye Hai Nayaab Tu

Mera Pyaar Hai Sirf Tere Liye
Mujhay Paanay K Liye Betaab Tu

Meri Her Dua Tere Liye
Meri Ebadatoon Ka Sawaab Tu…

Dil Ki Batain Bata Deti Hain , Aankhen ,
Dharkanon Ko Jaga Deti Hain, Aankhen ,
Dil Pe Chalta Nahi Jadoo, Cheroon Ka Kabhi ,
Dil Ko Tu , Deewana Bana Deti Hain ,Aankhen,

Woh Hum Se Baat Nahi Karte , To Na Kare ,
Haal Sara Unke Dil Ka , Suna Deti Hain Aankhen,
Gham Sada Rehta Nahi , Aadmi Ke Saath,
Ashk Bana Kar , Chalka Deti Hain Aankhen,

Aata Hai Jab Jawaani Ka Daur , To Ae Dosto,
Sunder Sapne Zehan Mein ,Basa Deti Hain Aankhen,
Ma Na Ke Neend Aati Hai , Aankhon Hi Ke Raste ,
Magar Kabhi Kabar ,Neend ,Ura Deti Hain Aankhen…

Woh ek muskurahat hi hai
jo meri har aansu ko muskurahat bana deti hai
wein do aankhe hi hai
jo mujhe duniya dikhate hai
unka meri nazaro ke samne hona hi
hame ek jindagi deti hai…

Tare asman me chamkte hain
Badal itni dur hai fir bhi barste hain
Hum bhi kitne nadan hain
Aap dil me rehte hain or hum apse milne ko tarste hai…

Sitam ko humne berukhi samjha
Pyaar ko humne bandagi samjha
Tum chahe hume jo bhi samjho
Par humne to tumhe apni zindagi samjha…

Jab Pyar kiya ab phir koi doori nahin,
Ishq mein dil diya yeh koi majboori nahin!

Tumse hi mera jahan bana, tho phir gila kya,
Tum mein hi sukun paya tho phir yeh duniya kya!

Aaj khul kar hum aap se yeh kehte hain
Aapse hi humare duniya, dil main aap rehte hain!

Ankhey to pyar me dil ki zuban hoti he,
Sachi chahat to sada bezuban hoti he,
pyar me dard bhi miley to kya ghabrana,

suna he dard se chahat aur jawa hoti he…

Shayari Hindi Jokes Hindi Jokes Dirty SMS Funny Photos Pics Images

Hindi Short Jokes Hindi Jokes Dirty SMS Funny Photos Pics Images

Hindi Short Jokes Biography

source link (google.com.pk)
Master: How Old is ur father?
Pappu: As old as I am.
Master: How is it possible?
Pappu: He became father only after I was born.

Ek School pe ek ladka bahut der se ghar ke bahar khada school ki ghanti bajane ki kosish kar raha tha.Toh ek Pion aaya aur kaha:

Pion: Kya kar rahe ho beta?

Ladka: Uncle, yeh ghanti bajana chahta hu.

Pion (ghanti bajake): Yeh lo bajgaya, or school ki sob students chuti ho gaya samajh kar bahar a gaya tab pion ne kaha,ab kya hai?

Ladka: Ab bhago!

Teacher: jet biman itni jorse kiun sut ta hai?
Student: kiun ki uski lez par aag hai uss lyee.

Teacher:haradhon ki 10 ladke kiun hai?
Student:ladki ki asa mein.

Teacher: ek common baat bolo to jo sabne jata hai?
Student: khida lagne par khana khata hai.

Student:keyse mujhko chalak karunga?
Teacher:boka logo ki sath ghurna.

Student:keyse mujhko chalak karunga?
Teacher:boka logo ki sath ghurna.

Student:exam ke liee tension ho rahi hai, magar meine kiyse exam me pass karunga?

Teacher: pass karne ke liee exam ke tension bad dena parega.

Teacher: bolo to kya khane par hamari aankhe ki dristi barta hai?

Student: ghas,lotapata ye khane par sir.

Teacher: keya mere sath yarki!!

Student: no sir, jara dhayan par dekho sir garu aur chagol ki ankho par keya aap chasme khayal kara?

Teacher: ek student se, bolo to Canada kaha?
Student: sir, pice ki bench par.

Teacher:tumhare sahas to kam nahi hai,tum exam hall par durbin le kar ayaa.

Student: nahi sir meine to ye dekhne ke le ayea wo iss question par kyea answer likha.

Teacher:boloto tum boro na tumhare baba boro?

Student:meine

Teacher:keyse?

Student:maine to abb sone ke waqt maa ki dudu nahi pita hu magar baba ab vi pita hai.

Teacher: bolo to satellite channel dekhne par keya kufal hai?

Student: sir maramari karna prabanata bar jati hai.

Teacher: wo kayse?

Student: sir meine jab vi satellite channel on kya hai meri dady mejhe mara tha.

Teacher: kaun bolna parega, prithibi ki weight kaya hai?

Student:no sir,magar India ki kitni wo meine bolna parunga.

Teacher: opodarth, India ki weight kaha par paya tune?

Student:sir, bara bara truck par likha tha “Samagra India 5 ton”.

Teacher:kaunsi jinis par hum log chalte waqt sun sakte hai?
Student: radio ke niche 4 chaka lagane par…

Teacher: kisiko aab crorepati bolne par wo khusi nahi hota hai kiun?
Student: Dudok ki voi pa kar.

Teacher:agle class me tumko “sami ki kabab” paraunga.
Ladki:kya sir, “Swami ki ovab”?

Teacher: bolo chiner prachir kaun vanga hai?
Student: sir believe us, humne use hat vi nahi lagaya.

Teacher: ek admi 1kg chini lia 60 tk aur dokandar vul karke 100 tk ki not dia.
Ab bolo dokandar ki kitne loss hua?
Student: sir, wo jal not hai.

Teacher: ek candle jalane ke lie 1 kathi lage toh 20 candle kitne lagegi?
Student: ek hi lagegi.
Teacher: keyse?

Student: ek ko jala kar baki sab us candle se jalana parega.

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